This blog was written by Julia Connolly, LFCās Development and Communications Associate
The State of Kindness, Empathy, & Respect
You may have noticedāthe state of kindness, empathy, and respect in our world feels increasingly precarious. Looking at the systems and structures around us, itās clear: unkind, individualistic, and competitive attitudes and behaviors are often rewarded, while the values that truly make life meaningful are dismissed as weak. Would you agree?
The Office of the Surgeon General warned that we are experiencing an āepidemic of loneliness,ā and at Leading for Children, we proclaim that kindness, empathy, and respectāa Humanity First approachāare the antidotes.
Kind v.s. Nice
āHeyāplay nice!ā Sound familiar? This expression inadvertently reveals something profound about ānicenessā: itās often a role we play or a facade we create, rather than an honest reflection of how we feel. Has a sixth sense ever crept up while someone was acting polite and told you that beneath the surface of their smile and mannered words, something else might have been going on? Maybe judgment or frustration. Or maybe a struggle to mask a tough day. Either way, authenticity would have softened the interaction. Think about how much lighter it feels when you trust that someoneās words and actions align with their thoughts and feelings.
Authentic kindness is beautifulāthinking about it excites me because I know how warm and healing it feels to share it with and experience it from othersāto see and be seen. In our recent podcast episode, our founder Judy Jablon shared,
āI think kindness is when you choose to see the other person in their wholeness.āĀ
Opening your mind and heart, activating curiosity, engaging empathy, and practicing kindness are, I believe, how we demonstrate respect for all people.
Language matters. āNiceā and ākindā are not interchangeable synonyms. Would you prefer to live in a world grounded in niceness or kindness? I choose to work towards one grounded in kindness. Does that vision inspire you like it inspires me?Ā
Whatās one thing you can do to promote kindness, instead of niceness, in your community?
Kindness, Empathy, & Respect Strengthen Relationships
Expanding on the idea that nice is different from kindāletās consider what ānicenessā usually seeks to accomplish. I notice itās often used to avoid ārocking the boatā or provoking conflict. Keeping relationships and interactions surface level might feel simplerāsometimes this is necessaryābut it builds a fragile foundation and repels deeper, more fulfilling connections.
Rising above the appeal of niceness and choosing kindness can be hard. It requires digging deeper, using intention, and accepting that things may feel uncomfortable as you take risks to cultivate trust. Itās like exercising for the first timeāyour muscles arenāt developed yet and need some achey repetition before becoming stronger and more resilient. Relationships become stronger and more resilient when you nurture them with authenticity. Our podcast guest, Kyson Bunthuwong, emphasized that kindness and all it encompasses are skills that we hone. He said,Ā
āIt does take work, a lot of the time, to practice kindness. But the ones who doāthey’re showing up, right? They’re showing up to put in the extra effort to be kind and not just neutral or negative.ā
Practicing kindness, empathy, and respect can feel vulnerable, especially when itās one-sided. But vulnerability has a superpower: itās incredibly disarming. When emotions run high, interactions tend to go one of two ways: 1) reactivity takes over, escalating the situation, or 2) at least one person chooses to pause, breathe, reflect, and regulate, creating space for intentional, authentic connection. Being vulnerableāeven in the heat of the momentāis a bit like an investment. By extending your trust before knowing the outcome, you give the other person an opportunity to rise to the honor and strengthen the relationship with reciprocated kindness, empathy, and respect.
These Values Empower Us
If I could send one message from this blog across the planet and into the mind of every person, it would be that a kinder, more empathetic and respectful world is a stronger, more resilient and fulfilling world.
In the podcast, our executive director, Nichole Parks, shared,
āI want to be clear: I believe now is the time we should stand up. However, I think itās very important that we donāt lose the core of who we are, our kindness and our humanity, when we do stand up for ourselves in the face of injustice. Otherwise, we become like the people weāre standing up to.ā
She reflected on memories of her grandmother, who she witnessed advocate for herself with astounding grace and warmth. The example inspires her to lean into her values, even when itās uncomfortable, infuriating, or exhausting. āNicenessā is about avoiding discomfortākindness embraces conflict as a necessary human experience and an opportunity for both parties to grow while deepening their connection.
There will always be a need to stand up for ourselves and others. In this movement toward an equitable world that collectively leads with Humanity First, we ALL have a responsibility. Itās not only that we advocate, but itās how we advocateāwe set the example, just like Nicholeās grandmother.
Kindness, empathy, and respect will always win. They are the values that make life feel fulfilling, and together, we will create a world where they flourish.
Share Your Story: Tell us about a moment when you witnessed, received, or facilitated an act of humanityāan act that embodied kindness, empathy, and respect. Recounting our stories and reading those of others uplifts us and cultivates connections that foster resilience. https://padlet.com/info29540/stories-of-humanity-uvuo398fuqawzna9Ā